By Gina Alzate, The Concept Whiz
One never knows what could transpire in a given event until he or she becomes engulfed in the heat of a debate. By then it becomes more challenging to keep the social norms of healthy discussions and etiquette goes out the door. I stumbled upon this discussion, and like anyone who comes in a tail end of a sentence, I had to find my bearings so I could follow the passionate exchange.
The topic was on love and relationships, and how women turned the tables on men, driving them out of households and expecting child support only to be used on themselves and not on the care of the children. Several men’s admission to this belief led a few women to band together, fuming with poisonous rage. Soon after verbal altercation ensued. It was war of the sexes!
I did not feel any need to join in the heated discussion as both parties sought to bring each other down. From an outsider’s point of view, I saw no joy in doing so knowing that any hurtful words slung at anyone will hurl back at me in no time. Yet, I felt to sit through the intensity until it is over, pondering what is actually the root of this intense anger.
Then, it dawned on me that the men in this debate who believed that women are nags and users, manipulating their way to make men feel inferior to the point that the men are driven away from their homes, actually felt this experience in their lives. It turned out that their fathers were absentees, and they blamed their mothers for not allowing them the joyful experience of having fathers in their lives. So what if their fathers did not have a job, or did not help around the house? What mattered to them was that they had their fathers and their love. They had contempt for their mothers, so they carried that over to their relationships with other women.
On the other hand, the women felt equally remorseful of their fathers being absent in their lives, not having the paternal support and teachings on what they can expect from men. They resented how their fathers did not care enough about them to make something of themselves so they could stay in the family structure. They blamed their fathers for their failed relationships with men, for not being there to help them feel confident about themselves.
Yet, during the intensity of their debate, they could not see how they are all hurting inside and they are lashing out their pain on one another. They may be adults now, yet they have not outgrown their pain of not having fathers in their lives. They could not see how they are mirrors of themselves.
About Gina Alzate
Gina Alzate is The Concept Whiz. She is Holistic Life Designs’ Metaphysical Therapy Educator. She is Host of several online radio talk shows and Broadcaster for World Radio 365. She is a lifelong student of Leadership and Empowerment, World Travels and Diverse Cultures, Metaphysics, Holistic Health and Spirituality. She teaches about human consciousness and personal awareness through radio broadcasting, writing and workshops on land and at sea. Contact her through World Tours and Cruises. Follow her on Twitter @GinaAlzate.
